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bethiboo's favorite FMLs
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 10:23am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy
by Now Single / 04/03/2011 at 4:06am / Reserved / Intimacy
by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by crushed / 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 9:49am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 3:01am / Mexico (Morelos) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 11:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
by bottomdrawerraider / 11/17/2010 at 12:13pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by single / 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…