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Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9045) - you deserved it (590)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17689) - you deserved it (6247)
On 01/06/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out why I'm always let off easy when I do something wrong at work. They think I have a mental handicap. I don't. I'm just clumsy and forgetful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17558) - you deserved it (3771)
On 11/27/2011 at 1:02am - work - by Clumsy & Forgetful - Canada
Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (6960)
On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7383) - you deserved it (27050)
On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my social-awkwardness is so bad, I was actually proud of myself for managing to ask someone a question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18500) - you deserved it (3065)
On 11/14/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by ish0rty - United States
Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6251) - you deserved it (21485)
On 11/13/2011 at 8:11pm - misc - by honeybadger123 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21224) - you deserved it (6765)
On 11/12/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by friedchicken - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19876) - you deserved it (2167)
On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18271) - you deserved it (6629)
On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21330) - you deserved it (2321)
On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (14436)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24949) - you deserved it (3073)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States
Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8621) - you deserved it (18857)
On 10/29/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Messiahman - United States (Texas)
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11943) - you deserved it (1816)
On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
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