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berossm

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berossm

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  • Number of visits : 311
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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berossm's page activity

Visits<b>saocrates</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 6:11am

berossm's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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berossm's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

#20894470
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44994) - you deserved it (4001)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Undercooked (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17763) - you deserved it (127324)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (7607)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

#20710993
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40277) - you deserved it (4894)

On 06/07/2013 at 12:33am - animals - by Damn Cat - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44180) - you deserved it (15030)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28648) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

#20127336
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10468) - you deserved it (17331)

On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36811) - you deserved it (3971)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

#19696168
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (1790)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

#19684579
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15979) - you deserved it (2586)

On 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by Dom - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18508) - you deserved it (4901)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

#18795812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34443) - you deserved it (2687)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29089) - you deserved it (1831)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10217) - you deserved it (34032)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)



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