About bernielove89 : I'm awesome. The end.
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bernielove89's favorite FMLs
by swtkiss1 / 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by skeletor / 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by manda / 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy
Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML
by pineapple456 / 02/16/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by skipper / 02/12/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML
by thegoldenboy3 / 02/12/2009 at 7:14am / Spain (Andalucia) / Intimacy
by beerpong26 / 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by PlayTag / 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by na / 02/04/2009 at 9:35am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: "At least someone is having fun!" It was my boss. FML
Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…