bernielove89

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bernielove89

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1445
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About bernielove89 : I'm awesome. The end.

bernielove89's page activity

Visits<b>deftones</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:23am<b>fabcade</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:13pm<b>miguelghs</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:55am<b>bryan788</b> - the 10/10/2012 at 7:00pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/18/2012 at 12:48pm<b>SamLiveFree_77</b> - the 02/03/2012 at 11:37pm<b>Titine</b> - the 01/18/2012 at 3:47am<b>durisnonfrangor</b> - the 01/12/2012 at 9:45pm<b>stupidparkedcar</b> - the 01/06/2012 at 11:33am<b>cristianab</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 12:56pm<b>Turdferguson88</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 9:28am<b>sharpblade123</b> - the 01/03/2012 at 8:26pm

bernielove89's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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bernielove89's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

by swtkiss1 / 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

by skeletor / 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

by manda / 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

by pineapple456 / 02/16/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

by skipper / 02/12/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

by thegoldenboy3 / 02/12/2009 at 7:14am / Spain (Andalucia) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

by beerpong26 / 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

by PlayTag / 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "I'm bored." FML

by na / 02/04/2009 at 9:35am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: "At least someone is having fun!" It was my boss. FML

by lopez / 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm / Work

Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML

by Tomtom / 11/17/2008 at 12:04am / Work