About bernielove89 : I'm awesome. The end.
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bernielove89's favorite FMLs
Today, I learned that there is a limit to being thrifty. For example buying a pan from the dollar store is most likely going to cost a lot more than a few dollars. Especially when it melts all over your stove which you now have to replace. FML
by Drim / 11/25/2009 at 12:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML
by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML
by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by banana / 02/25/2009 at 10:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Dr. Virgin / 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML
by secret123 / 02/24/2009 at 6:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML
by NeverGonnaGetAny / 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Noname / 02/22/2009 at 8:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Mike / 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Noname / 02/21/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…