bernielove89

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bernielove89

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1443
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About bernielove89 : I'm awesome. The end.

bernielove89's page activity

Visits<b>deftones</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:23am<b>fabcade</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:13pm<b>miguelghs</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:55am<b>bryan788</b> - the 10/10/2012 at 7:00pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/18/2012 at 12:48pm<b>SamLiveFree_77</b> - the 02/03/2012 at 11:37pm<b>Titine</b> - the 01/18/2012 at 3:47am<b>durisnonfrangor</b> - the 01/12/2012 at 9:45pm<b>stupidparkedcar</b> - the 01/06/2012 at 11:33am<b>cristianab</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 12:56pm<b>Turdferguson88</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 9:28am<b>sharpblade123</b> - the 01/03/2012 at 8:26pm

bernielove89's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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bernielove89's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that there is a limit to being thrifty. For example buying a pan from the dollar store is most likely going to cost a lot more than a few dollars. Especially when it melts all over your stove which you now have to replace. FML

by Drim / 11/25/2009 at 12:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

by banana / 02/25/2009 at 10:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML

by Dr. Virgin / 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML

by secret123 / 02/24/2009 at 6:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

by NeverGonnaGetAny / 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, for my birthday my boyfriend bought me a sexy outfit to wear for him. At the bottom of the bag was a razor. FML

by Noname / 02/22/2009 at 8:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

by Mike / 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

by Noname / 02/21/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy