bernielove89

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bernielove89

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1556
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About bernielove89 : I'm awesome. The end.

bernielove89's page activity

Visits<b>deftones</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:23am<b>fabcade</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:13pm<b>miguelghs</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:55am<b>bryan788</b> - the 10/10/2012 at 7:00pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/18/2012 at 12:48pm<b>SamLiveFree_77</b> - the 02/03/2012 at 11:37pm<b>Titine</b> - the 01/18/2012 at 3:47am<b>durisnonfrangor</b> - the 01/12/2012 at 9:45pm<b>stupidparkedcar</b> - the 01/06/2012 at 11:33am<b>cristianab</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 12:56pm<b>Turdferguson88</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 9:28am<b>sharpblade123</b> - the 01/03/2012 at 8:26pm

bernielove89's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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bernielove89's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of 4 years through a speech that took me 3 weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

by LukeSkywalker / 12/23/2011 at 11:38am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

by badidea / 12/23/2011 at 1:42am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

by Nicki / 12/21/2011 at 7:30am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

by bathtime / 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

by Ryan / 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

by psychteacher / 11/04/2011 at 9:32am / United States (North Dakota) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

by Good sister / 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML

by killercow / 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at Subway, I looked on as an employee killed a fly with his hands. He then continued working without a second thought. He was making my sandwich. FML

by Shoofly / 03/04/2011 at 5:54pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

by soomeone / 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was in a shoe store. I picked up a shoe so I could look at it, but when I put it back on the shelf, the whole shelf fell down, making all the shoes fall to the ground. The people behind the counter started clapping. FML

by shoes / 01/01/2010 at 9:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

by lois2lane / 12/23/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Transportation