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bernielove89's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by LukeSkywalker / 12/23/2011 at 11:38am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by badidea / 12/23/2011 at 1:42am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Nicki / 12/21/2011 at 7:30am / Canada / Intimacy
by bathtime / 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
by Ryan / 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML
by psychteacher / 11/04/2011 at 9:32am / United States (North Dakota) / Geek
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
by Good sister / 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by killercow / 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by Shoofly / 03/04/2011 at 5:54pm / United States / Transportation
by soomeone / 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was in a shoe store. I picked up a shoe so I could look at it, but when I put it back on the shelf, the whole shelf fell down, making all the shoes fall to the ground. The people behind the counter started clapping. FML
by shoes / 01/01/2010 at 9:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
by lois2lane / 12/23/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
- Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different… Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five… Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom,…