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Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10454) - you deserved it (23085)
On 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14048) - you deserved it (22189)
On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41075) - you deserved it (36306)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24248) - you deserved it (1925)
On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (3941)
On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35542) - you deserved it (5428)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7834) - you deserved it (24157)
On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11997) - you deserved it (23079)
On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43599) - you deserved it (7676)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (15816)
On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I was bombarded with pictures of my little sister's Christmas present. It was a huge engagement ring. I got broken up with in public on Christmas eve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (271)
On 12/28/2011 at 1:23am - love - by foreveralonecatlady (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36151) - you deserved it (1685)
On 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34592) - you deserved it (6304)
On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (4284)
On 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37021) - you deserved it (4340)
On 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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