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bereckless

Offline (the 08/30/2014 at 8:38pm) | Search for a member

bereckless

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bereckless's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59918) - you deserved it (8476)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (15334)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40337) - you deserved it (9337)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (47677)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53077) - you deserved it (2930)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55011) - you deserved it (4029)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41723) - you deserved it (2669)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

#20958939
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36900) - you deserved it (4416)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by haqL (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47100) - you deserved it (3121)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46716) - you deserved it (5059)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

#20931468
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34447) - you deserved it (2229)

On 10/23/2013 at 6:41pm - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45876) - you deserved it (4863)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

#20928702
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40245) - you deserved it (2762)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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