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ber4fun's favorite FMLs
Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After looking into it, one of the 1-star ratings claimed "mechanical problems". The description of the reason, "He drives a Ford." FML
by darkangel7410 / 06/22/2016 at 4:37am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 10:28am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/06/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Rescheduled / 05/28/2016 at 4:44am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/19/2016 at 9:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 12:28pm / United States / Love
by Sgt_Jackrum / 02/05/2016 at 5:27am / United Kingdom (Sandwell) / Intimacy
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals
by 221bcompanion / 01/18/2016 at 12:18am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML
by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 11:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, a woman who I have spoken to approximately twice in my life, asked me out. I turned her down in the most harmless way I could. Three hours later, I found my car keyed and my windshield wipers gone. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2015 at 7:10pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
by ModernCindy / 11/30/2015 at 11:07am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Animals
by MyLifeSucksSoHar / 10/30/2015 at 9:49pm / United States (Florida) / Money
by Anonymous / 10/25/2015 at 9:13am / United States (Florida) / Transportation