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ber4fun's favorite FMLs
by cheeseless / 08/11/2016 at 4:47pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
by SkyrimGamerMoM / 07/14/2016 at 3:49pm / United States (North Dakota) / Geek
Today, like every year, my next-door neighbors started setting off their fireworks at exactly midnight. Also, like every year, the sensitive car alarm belonging to another neighbor has gone off with every firework. It's been almost six hours of nonstop alarms and explosions. FML
by TooNoisy4Me / 07/04/2016 at 5:46am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out for drinks to mark the end of my current job. I invited all my colleagues to join me so I could say goodbye to them all. I even changed the date to a day that suited more people and the location to a place I knew they all preferred. Only one person showed up. FML
by squizzlebee / 06/30/2016 at 7:58am / United Kingdom (York) / Work
Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After looking into it, one of the 1-star ratings claimed "mechanical problems". The description of the reason, "He drives a Ford." FML
by darkangel7410 / 06/22/2016 at 4:37am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 10:28am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/06/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Rescheduled / 05/28/2016 at 4:44am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/19/2016 at 9:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 12:28pm / United States / Love
by Sgt_Jackrum / 02/05/2016 at 5:27am / United Kingdom (Sandwell) / Intimacy
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals
by 221bcompanion / 01/18/2016 at 12:18am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML
by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 11:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…