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ber4fun's favorite FMLs
by HR nightmare / 12/02/2016 at 12:20am / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I tried to make things less awkward by complimenting my Tai Chi partner's ring and he says, "Thanks, it's a purity ring!" I said, "I used to have one of those. Would you believe me if I said I lost it in a river?" Now my entire Tai Chi class thinks I lost my virginity in a river. FML
by padre74 / 10/03/2016 at 1:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
by Fat and Embarrassed / 09/25/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I screamed at a taxi driver to not run over a hedgehog. He got a fright and ended up pulling over. I hopped out and ran to the middle of the road to pick up the hedgehog and leave him on the grass by the path. As I got closer and went to pick up said hedgehog, I realised it was a pinecone. FML
by simpleasjam / 09/19/2016 at 10:27am / United Kingdom (Sutton) / Animals
Today, a guy I have been crushing on since forever finally talked to me. Too bad it happened after an anxiety attack when he carried me from class to the nurse's. The first thing he said to me when I came to was, "You're heavier than you look." FML
by anonymous / 08/14/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by cheeseless / 08/11/2016 at 4:47pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
by SkyrimGamerMoM / 07/14/2016 at 3:49pm / United States (North Dakota) / Geek
Today, like every year, my next-door neighbors started setting off their fireworks at exactly midnight. Also, like every year, the sensitive car alarm belonging to another neighbor has gone off with every firework. It's been almost six hours of nonstop alarms and explosions. FML
by TooNoisy4Me / 07/04/2016 at 5:46am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out for drinks to mark the end of my current job. I invited all my colleagues to join me so I could say goodbye to them all. I even changed the date to a day that suited more people and the location to a place I knew they all preferred. Only one person showed up. FML
by squizzlebee / 06/30/2016 at 7:58am / United Kingdom (York) / Work
Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After looking into it, one of the 1-star ratings claimed "mechanical problems". The description of the reason, "He drives a Ford." FML
by darkangel7410 / 06/22/2016 at 4:37am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 10:28am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/06/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Rescheduled / 05/28/2016 at 4:44am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/19/2016 at 9:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…