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bennn89's favorite FMLs
by missmirror / 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, after watching over my drunken mother all last night to make sure she didn't choke on her own vomit, I came to the conclusion that at the age of 53, she's more of a party animal than I ever will be. I'm a 22 year old man. FML
by ForeverAlone / 04/15/2011 at 8:52pm / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Miscellaneous
by Now Single / 04/03/2011 at 4:06am / Reserved / Intimacy
by mrssagdiyev / 03/05/2011 at 9:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
by killmenow / 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by allgrowedup / 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids
by poop / 01/07/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
by prego / 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health
by juli / 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Love
by Blank / 06/16/2010 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation…
- Today, I bought a non-refundable $200 plane ticket to Ohio to be with my girlfriend who moved there… Today, and for the last few days I've stopped texting the people I talk with daily to see if they'd… Today, I spent two hours in the rain at a concert waiting for my favorite band to come on. The show…