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bennekat

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bennekat
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  • Number of visits : 296
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bennekat's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (8331)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

#13493485
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10240) - you deserved it (33485)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

#13363773
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (4876)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML

#13283938
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8643) - you deserved it (34138)

On 10/02/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8328) - you deserved it (29179)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

#10832830
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32517) - you deserved it (7246)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

#10166473
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (15240)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

#8972575
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17302) - you deserved it (1967)

On 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by robotchickens (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
218 comments

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22855) - you deserved it (6463)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

#8554799
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28096) - you deserved it (1994)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:32pm - health - by mynoseburns (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrives. As we were going at it, he shits on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML

#8471213
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13682) - you deserved it (3555)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:47am - intimacy - by jo - United States

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

#7901856
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29596) - you deserved it (7215)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

#7642082
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (3141)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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