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bennekat

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bennekat

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bennekat's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80643) - you deserved it (6032)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I was cutting a little boy's hair at the hairdressers where I work. While cutting his bangs, I noticed his forehead was surprisingly warm. When I asked him if he felt OK, he threw up all over my gown. I think he had some broccoli today. FML

#15830049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36295) - you deserved it (2881)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:46am - kids - by stickyhair (woman) - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
780 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66771) - you deserved it (14048)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (6498)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

#15213017
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33064) - you deserved it (4857)

On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68163) - you deserved it (6266)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36313) - you deserved it (4801)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17590) - you deserved it (49394)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

#14537773
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20662) - you deserved it (4980)

On 01/10/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41797) - you deserved it (8755)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML

#14148009
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7540) - you deserved it (77601)

On 12/09/2010 at 10:19pm - money - by fmlguy -

Today, I was seated, once again, at the "too small" children's table. I'm twenty. FML

#13977736
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24324) - you deserved it (2824)

On 11/25/2010 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22999) - you deserved it (5253)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

#13855888
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (3561)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm - health - by grlzze444 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

#13687643
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12640) - you deserved it (32299)

On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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