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Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18185) - you deserved it (911)
On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17961) - you deserved it (1276)
On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (4388)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (1118)
On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7312) - you deserved it (25540)
On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)
Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (903)
On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I went to a concert. One of my favorite bands was performing, and I'd had the ticket for seven months, with a great seat for the show. It was all going perfectly, that is until a guy twice my height sat in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16760) - you deserved it (1208)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12943) - you deserved it (3381)
On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17547) - you deserved it (6937)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23100) - you deserved it (1196)
On 03/06/2012 at 7:34pm - misc - by Alex (woman) - United States
Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (1162)
On 02/17/2012 at 3:43pm - health - by Anon - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (3652)
On 02/11/2012 at 12:57am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40437) - you deserved it (6022)
On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14636) - you deserved it (1263)
On 01/25/2012 at 10:50am - work - by replik - Russian Federation
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25479) - you deserved it (4487) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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