benmbarnett

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Offline (the 08/13/2015 at 11:37pm)

benmbarnett

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1759
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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benmbarnett's FML badges

Judgmental

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Up and coming moderator

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benmbarnett's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

by baldspot / 04/02/2012 at 1:38am / Australia / Kids

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

by uh-oh / 03/25/2012 at 1:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 1:13am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

by Laura / 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

by Rynne S. / 03/13/2012 at 2:12am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 10:14am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML

by Rachel / 03/01/2012 at 4:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

by Lonely Gay / 02/22/2012 at 4:37am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 10:00pm / Canada / Health