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benmbarnett

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benmbarnett

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  • Number of visits : 984
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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benmbarnett's favorite FMLs

Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML

#3048496
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41320) - you deserved it (4206)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Bob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML

#2040967
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48829) - you deserved it (9366)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:48am - health - by barbie (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

#1979778
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48747) - you deserved it (3176)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (365890) - you deserved it (18934)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the zoo with a guy I like, when we were there we saw a swarm of bees. I told him that if I got stung he would have to watch me because my dad is deathly allergic to bees and I have never been stung. Jokingly, he nudged me into the bush and said "let's see". We did. I'm allergic. FML

#1797084
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58860) - you deserved it (5225)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:38pm - health - by busybee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

#1694711
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63607) - you deserved it (5743)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (712581) - you deserved it (56224)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend, and best friend, had baked a cake, and wouldnt tell anyone who it was for. When I asked he said I'd know soon. He met me after class to break up with me and offered me the cake to make me feel better. FML

#915379
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63688) - you deserved it (3061)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

#901011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64368) - you deserved it (3181)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84393) - you deserved it (31517)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13982) - you deserved it (126025)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

#151605
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24017) - you deserved it (45523)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - love - by Ma.Sa.La. (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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