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benmbarnett

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benmbarnett

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  • Number of visits : 677
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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benmbarnett's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33782) - you deserved it (5961)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

#18301043
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17659) - you deserved it (4532)

On 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by jazzybell - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

#18273711
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33074) - you deserved it (2812)

On 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm - health - by OUCH. - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34051) - you deserved it (18279)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (20578)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

#17364695
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7511) - you deserved it (42751)

On 08/04/2011 at 6:19am - kids - by Bobsaget00 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

#16938868
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21529) - you deserved it (5486)

On 07/01/2011 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37785) - you deserved it (23040)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36528) - you deserved it (3468)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

#16577754
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36520) - you deserved it (4287)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

#16076748
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40988) - you deserved it (6816)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27349) - you deserved it (3722)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36449) - you deserved it (3024)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML

#14897237
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28242) - you deserved it (2154)

On 02/08/2011 at 4:39pm - health - by scratchy -



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