About benhd1 : Hi!
My name's Ben Howard, I like knitting, unicorns and long walks along moonlit beaches. In fact, I once saw a unicorn while walking along the beach at midnight, which I then stabbed with my knitting needle.
My sense of humour often offends people. I'm sorry I didn't know your seventh cousin twice removed has Tourette's syndrome, and frankly I'll work right on learning every little detail about you, stranger, so as not to offend little old you. And thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to come up to me on the street and interrupt my private conversation.
About benhd1 : Hi!
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benhd1's favorite FMLs
Today, in an amphitheater, someone hit the back of my head. As I turned around, the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats, and after a while, I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML
by fthislyfe / 07/18/2011 at 3:09am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by StupidApple / 05/24/2011 at 8:02pm / Kids
by Tom / 03/10/2011 at 6:09am / Animals
by lizzy1843 / 01/26/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/01/2011 at 12:29am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm / Love
Today, I found out I received a "D" on my ethics exam, not because I did not know the information or did not follow the correct guidelines for writing the moral arguments, but because according to my professor my moral values are wrong. FML
by ecuboy / 10/26/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML
by Mommy / 09/29/2010 at 6:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I was late to work because the metro broke down. Yesterday I was late to work because the train in front of me broke down. The week before that I was late to work because the swat team shut the entire metro station down. Even the interns think I'm making this up. FML
by Katie / 06/30/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
by Chey1309 / 06/28/2010 at 11:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
by OmniVore / 02/25/2010 at 4:42am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/13/2010 at 12:48am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/28/2010 at 6:00am / Norway (Telemark) / Miscellaneous