About bendiggity : I'm weird, im lonely, i have Awesomeness disorder. Bendigo is my name
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Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13020) - you deserved it (27238)
On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36265) - you deserved it (1959)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States
Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (940) - you deserved it (8688)
On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27495) - you deserved it (5231)
On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31042) - you deserved it (4467)
On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)
Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9441) - you deserved it (54543)
On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (1890)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (2271)
On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States
Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27379) - you deserved it (5893)
On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50023) - you deserved it (4405)
On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (6125)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19477) - you deserved it (4791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (3181)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20115) - you deserved it (6445)
On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41880) - you deserved it (2385)
On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Monday 20 May 2013
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