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ben12114

Offline (the 02/07/2014 at 9:48pm) | Search for a member

ben12114

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  • Number of visits : 62
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ben12114's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

#21110266
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40242) - you deserved it (2974)

On 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm - misc - by Cuntlette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46245) - you deserved it (6545)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46707) - you deserved it (4738)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51877) - you deserved it (17638)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16235) - you deserved it (27243)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML

#20442809
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (3720)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

#19763325
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50893) - you deserved it (3223)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML

#19416439
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26180) - you deserved it (2508)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:32am - work - by littleman (man) - United States

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

#18659966
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22598) - you deserved it (6635)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:21am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32936) - you deserved it (8868)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (2966)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32993) - you deserved it (14651)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47496) - you deserved it (8093)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34599) - you deserved it (6398)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

#7273590
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30790) - you deserved it (9752)

On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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