Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bellamcruz

Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 10:46pm) | Search for a member

bellamcruz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1026
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bellamcruz's page activity

Visits<b>carlymarrie</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:14pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:31pm<b>metallica_wins</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 1:42am<b>orangedude118</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:43pm<b>hawright</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 7:07am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 6:50am<b>JChild</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 11:13pm<b>zombiejohn</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 1:20am<b>boudin227</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 12:28pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 11:07am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 10:21pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 4:09am<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 4:31am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 10:07pm<b>jerzjay</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 9:13pm<b>DDCA</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 1:13am<b>edwardcanterdean</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 4:26pm<b>zombieladi</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 10:29pm

bellamcruz's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of bellamcruz's badges

bellamcruz's favorite FMLs

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

#20876171
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53006) - you deserved it (11561)

On 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by CityBoysNow - United States (Missouri)

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41433) - you deserved it (5281)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

#20873371
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45589) - you deserved it (3936)

On 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51513) - you deserved it (18758)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

#20869864
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44875) - you deserved it (2684)

On 09/06/2013 at 2:42am - love - by thissinglelife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39151) - you deserved it (2906)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (36143)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58807) - you deserved it (4191)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45301) - you deserved it (2404)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (90158)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56154) - you deserved it (5987)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (65256)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

#20861348
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44669) - you deserved it (2798)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38058) - you deserved it (12912)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: