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bellamcruz

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bellamcruz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 624
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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bellamcruz's FML badges

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bellamcruz's favorite FMLs

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

#11251365
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32841) - you deserved it (3487)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by Blank (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML

#11111501
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40323) - you deserved it (2547)

On 06/10/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by dominator152 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46174) - you deserved it (16771)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

#11028124
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36514) - you deserved it (6582)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

#10975690
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60944) - you deserved it (7587)

On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML

#10925593
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (1696)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:15pm - money - by dogshavenipples (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asks "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

#10732441
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30957) - you deserved it (4363)

On 05/24/2010 at 11:14am - intimacy - by weirdedout (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML

#10727772
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26446) - you deserved it (5680)

On 05/24/2010 at 2:13am - love - by gedderdunn - Reserved

Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML

#10707896
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38368) - you deserved it (6061)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:08am - intimacy - by coltsfoot (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

#10540759
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9329) - you deserved it (42447)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Staples - United Kingdom

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

#9645798
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (7257)

On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

#9129175
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27880) - you deserved it (2195)

On 03/16/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by please_no (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21393) - you deserved it (3952)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

#9015781
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18973) - you deserved it (2341)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by gorgeousgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML

#8971498
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36860) - you deserved it (3751)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by Nancy - United States



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