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bellamcruz's favorite FMLs
by Blank / 06/16/2010 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by dominator152 / 06/10/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
by thetalkingvagina / 06/09/2010 at 7:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by flipflop / 06/07/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love
by weirdesout / 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML
by dogshavenipples / 06/02/2010 at 7:15pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Money
by weirdedout / 05/24/2010 at 11:14am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML
by gedderdunn / 05/24/2010 at 2:13am / Reserved / Love
by coltsfoot / 05/23/2010 at 5:08am / Norway (Ostfold) / Intimacy
by Staples / 05/15/2010 at 2:21am / United Kingdom / Geek
Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML
by FASHlONABLE / 04/05/2010 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML
by please_no / 03/16/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by gorgeousgirl / 03/12/2010 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Nancy / 03/10/2010 at 1:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…