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bellamcruz's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
by momaaa1342 / 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML
by Female_Lucifer / 10/20/2013 at 9:02am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by nofriends / 10/19/2013 at 5:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML
by Eggs6131 / 10/15/2013 at 9:09am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
by hes / 10/15/2013 at 6:10am / United States / Intimacy
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML
by katt_is_here / 10/06/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by pancakelicious / 10/04/2013 at 7:16am / New Zealand / Intimacy
by Kyra.45 / 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…