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bellabear123

Offline (the 09/12/2014 at 4:32pm) | Search for a member

bellabear123

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bellabear123's favorite FMLs

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43319) - you deserved it (9394)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59568) - you deserved it (4352)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59453) - you deserved it (25796)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47680) - you deserved it (5083)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48862) - you deserved it (4866)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44259) - you deserved it (19855)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

#20974597
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44107) - you deserved it (7220)

On 11/29/2013 at 10:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37945) - you deserved it (3330)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49870) - you deserved it (3683)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML

#20585611
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44585) - you deserved it (6026)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (10338)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31042) - you deserved it (19824)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41139) - you deserved it (7190)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16608) - you deserved it (27927)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)



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