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beezerbnt00

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beezerbnt00

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  • Number of visits : 4247
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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beezerbnt00's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML

#18044835
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15203) - you deserved it (58763)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

#18003683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33886) - you deserved it (2394)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42484) - you deserved it (3500)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (2918)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44898) - you deserved it (5039)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

#17910918
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (4822)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by Hoggiebear - United States (Georgia)

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36168) - you deserved it (10961)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I would dog-sit for them while they go to my ex's wedding. FML

#17864370
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31019) - you deserved it (2506)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:14pm - misc - by littlepsychgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (31073)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42883) - you deserved it (4368)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33287) - you deserved it (16795)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29520) - you deserved it (8248)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML

#17746591
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (2571)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:13pm - misc - by dmvfail - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31659) - you deserved it (5184)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85315) - you deserved it (13084)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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