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beezerbnt00

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beezerbnt00

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  • Number of visits : 4059
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Visits<b>T2R</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:27am<b>iseyixes</b> - the 11/22/2012 at 2:40pm

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beezerbnt00's favorite FMLs

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#18673458
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32037) - you deserved it (2345)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

#18671764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (2903)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46706) - you deserved it (3234)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42127) - you deserved it (8104)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

#18529063
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (4883)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12979) - you deserved it (41215)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

#18438378
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (4062)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42618) - you deserved it (4470)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (5022)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (6378)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34298) - you deserved it (6021)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML

#18062520
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45282) - you deserved it (2663)

On 10/24/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by lonely - United States (California)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41446) - you deserved it (19124)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

#18048411
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14788) - you deserved it (46169)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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