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beezerbnt00

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beezerbnt00

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  • Number of visits : 3881
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Visits<b>T2R</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:27am<b>iseyixes</b> - the 11/22/2012 at 2:40pm

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beezerbnt00's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9269) - you deserved it (61100)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother was driving me and my friends to a wedding. My friends and I were talking about birth control, and then my mother chimes in, "Yeah, I used to use the sponge, but the spermicide would always burn your dad's penis." FML

#42695
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36623) - you deserved it (6318)

On 02/14/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Grossed out (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

#24461
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14376) - you deserved it (27219)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML

#18109
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35895) - you deserved it (4313)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by a manly woman? (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44711) - you deserved it (6143)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (2559)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

#6850
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16000) - you deserved it (46460)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

#6511
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (6801)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:25pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6910) - you deserved it (48059)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23067) - you deserved it (9898)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

#5105
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33124) - you deserved it (2579)

On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9207) - you deserved it (52633)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

#4745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (9097)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML

#4715
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41992) - you deserved it (5153)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Bear - United Kingdom (Reading)



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