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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61563) - you deserved it (4670)
On 03/21/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by motherdearest (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48644) - you deserved it (6197)
On 03/20/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by noname (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88215) - you deserved it (4715)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by rmb131 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55959) - you deserved it (6800)
On 03/19/2009 at 11:34pm - misc - by churchgoer (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12113) - you deserved it (91004)
On 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by its_all_legit - United States (Virginia)
Today, I received a letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Leah. I am Leah. She mixed up the letters to the wrong envelopes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63675) - you deserved it (2160)
On 03/18/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by leah12 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at my job in the Dean of Students office. My boss gave me some papers to copy. As I was copying, I read in a report that my boyfriend was written up for "cohabitation" (having a girl stay over) at my Catholic university. The report was from a weekend I wasn't at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66320) - you deserved it (3088)
On 03/18/2009 at 12:07am - work - by germx (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16537) - you deserved it (55572)
On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (63847) - you deserved it (12805)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96091) - you deserved it (11626)
On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14576) - you deserved it (60192)
On 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (51359)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom
Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9899) - you deserved it (97808)
On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66758) - you deserved it (5805)
On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40978) - you deserved it (247020)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Monday 20 May 2013
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