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beezerbnt00

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beezerbnt00

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  • Number of visits : 4011
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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beezerbnt00's page activity

Visits<b>T2R</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:27am<b>iseyixes</b> - the 11/22/2012 at 2:40pm

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beezerbnt00's favorite FMLs

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28662) - you deserved it (2232)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8960) - you deserved it (26504)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (2361)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29840) - you deserved it (3570)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

#19889661
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11696) - you deserved it (26407)

On 07/04/2012 at 5:04am - health - by magicman - United States

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

#19857408
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9724) - you deserved it (37537)

On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (2847)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (2847)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23987) - you deserved it (6638)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27695) - you deserved it (2152)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

#19687199
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (2492)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (3555)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8411) - you deserved it (54750)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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