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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19614) - you deserved it (5068)
On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)
Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38811) - you deserved it (1328)
On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (4521)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (3393)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11144) - you deserved it (19311)
On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States
Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12825) - you deserved it (3771)
On 09/24/2012 at 3:35pm - work - by martinaaah - United States (Washington)
Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18763) - you deserved it (1086)
On 09/24/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Hello Nurse (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15876) - you deserved it (1370)
On 09/23/2012 at 5:23am - work - by whatisthisidonteven (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16203) - you deserved it (1082)
On 09/23/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering their questions about him, when my dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through my teeth, and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14570) - you deserved it (1850)
On 09/22/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14745) - you deserved it (6464)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (1208)
On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21129) - you deserved it (1170)
On 09/18/2012 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by useyourownbed (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36532) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14448) - you deserved it (2702)
On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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