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beezerbnt00

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beezerbnt00

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  • Number of visits : 4053
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Visits<b>T2R</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:27am<b>iseyixes</b> - the 11/22/2012 at 2:40pm

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beezerbnt00's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

#17176803
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8922) - you deserved it (67111)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)

Today, it's my birthday. I came downstairs to a cake that said "Happy 8th Birthday Bella!" My name is Sarah and I'm 16. Bella is our dog whose birthday is next month. FML

#17163751
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34322) - you deserved it (2526)

On 07/18/2011 at 2:05pm - animals - by unbirthday (woman) - United States

Today, my step dad stole over $400 worth of savings from me. He spent it on alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero. FML

#17161191
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (3672)

On 07/18/2011 at 9:08am - misc - by _TaToRtOt_ (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

#17150480
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (34406)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by CaoiiBieber - Ireland

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38582) - you deserved it (3486)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30553) - you deserved it (89049)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

#17104731
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31083) - you deserved it (2373)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42880) - you deserved it (3591)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131186) - you deserved it (7332)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

#17029959
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30005) - you deserved it (2275)

On 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36016) - you deserved it (4349)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46058) - you deserved it (25004)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51154) - you deserved it (5601)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

#16984657
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33387) - you deserved it (4060)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:04am - work - by chawlay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35152) - you deserved it (3620)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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