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beemoo

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beemoo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 September 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1078
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About beemoo : I'm a clinically diagnosed insomniac, so, while I wait ever-so patiently for sleep to take me, I read FML's in bed.

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Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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beemoo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

#13462690
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34329) - you deserved it (5266)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (20887)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28190) - you deserved it (8912)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (2348)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

#13268131
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22801) - you deserved it (3311)

On 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44769) - you deserved it (4839)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (12998)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30673) - you deserved it (12589)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML

#13103525
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (8201)

On 09/18/2010 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14424) - you deserved it (36325)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41676) - you deserved it (12555)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

#12439664
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35408) - you deserved it (3351)

On 08/10/2010 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (10203)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

#12043060
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30773) - you deserved it (3721)

On 07/22/2010 at 11:10am - misc - by Elliot (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

#11980877
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28299) - you deserved it (7338)

On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)



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