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beemoo

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beemoo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1996
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About beemoo : I'm a clinically diagnosed insomniac, so, while I wait ever-so patiently for sleep to take me, I read FML's in bed.

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beemoo's favorite FMLs

Today... I was on the plane asleep. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt an I screamed at the top of lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone on the plane laughed. FML

#14494706
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11622) - you deserved it (26835)

On 01/07/2011 at 6:24am - kids - by G-6 -

Today , I had a plaster cast removed from mah arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting mah skin , she tells me there is no way that it could touch mah skin an that I was bieng paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns , blisters an bleeding skin were revealed. FML

#14484091
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42057) - you deserved it (2434)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:54am - health - by omfgitburns (man) -

Today, boyfriend confessed his desre to have sexhile I'm on period. He calls it "bloody victory." mega FML

#14087170
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36818) - you deserved it (5426)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My grlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking wat I wanted fir Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, ( All I want r your sweet titties in my face ). I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14493) - you deserved it (38732)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was feeling nauseou and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

#13934575
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (3443)

On 11/22/2010 at 6:33am - health - by can't breathe - Australia (Western Australia)

Today , I was putting mah 2 year old to bd , and I began to sing to her. She reachd up , puttd her looool finger over mah lips , and said , "Shhh , Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38384) - you deserved it (12842)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wishd he likd sushi . He replid, 'I wish you likd anal.' FML

#13814299
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20978) - you deserved it (38812)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilet were, so trid to do the ( stand and poo. ) Unfortunately, I slippd and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realizd there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16125) - you deserved it (33696)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on te subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I tougt was cute, oping to enjoy some armless flrting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask u a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can u please move away from me?" FML

#13797443
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10564) - you deserved it (29605)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex 4 the first time . He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious.. . my precious" in Gollum's voice . real FML

#13782516
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39146) - you deserved it (7003)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

TODAY..!! I CUMMED HOME TO FIND MY YOUNGER DAUGHTER LEFT HER SILLY BAND COLLECTION ON THE CARPET IN FRONT OF THE FREPLACE!! I NOW HAVE MELTED UNICORNS AND PRINCESSES STUCK IN MY CARPET!! REAL FML

#13716759
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23865) - you deserved it (3685)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

#13641335
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (6369)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today at Burger King I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat an exploded on my legs an pants when I sat down. FML

#13558964
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (5647)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today , I saw mah boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine , except he was saying "Nom nom nom , I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor.

#13481200
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38177) - you deserved it (8010)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

mah sister an I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to ( just got released from hospital with Baby Lily ), as I'd had a babby earlier this week. My sister set hers to ( menstrual blood smells like shrimp ). Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33057) - you deserved it (6434)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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