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About beemoo : I'm a clinically diagnosed insomniac, so, while I wait ever-so patiently for sleep to take me, I read FML's in bed.
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Today , I had a plaster cast removed from mah arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting mah skin , she tells me there is no way that it could touch mah skin an that I was bieng paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns , blisters an bleeding skin were revealed. FML
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My grlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking wat I wanted fir Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, ( All I want r your sweet titties in my face ). I'm awaiting a response. FML
Today, I was feeling nauseou and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilet were, so trid to do the ( stand and poo. ) Unfortunately, I slippd and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realizd there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, on te subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I tougt was cute, oping to enjoy some armless flrting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask u a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can u please move away from me?" FML
mah sister an I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to ( just got released from hospital with Baby Lily ), as I'd had a babby earlier this week. My sister set hers to ( menstrual blood smells like shrimp ). Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
Friday 27 March 2015