About beemoo : I'm a clinically diagnosed insomniac, so, while I wait ever-so patiently for sleep to take me, I read FML's in bed.
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beemoo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 1:58am / United States / Transportation
by mrs.nerd / 10/23/2011 at 8:38am / United States / Love
Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
by btchzloveit / 09/29/2011 at 8:27am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Miscellaneous
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by funnymanjoe / 09/14/2011 at 7:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML
by fashionista1787 / 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML
by Mack / 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Stan / 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals
by AlwaysGottaFML / 08/20/2011 at 3:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML
by Username / 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm / United States / Health
Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be 'funny as hell' to watch me freak out. FML
by livgasms / 08/18/2011 at 12:02am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
- Today, while showing a group of guys my heavy bag routine at the gym, I attempted to perform a high… Today, my five year old daughter asked me why I wipe with sticks. I was very confused, so she then… Today, my supervisor at work took me into the back room, saying "several other cashiers complained…