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Offline (the 11/13/2015 at 1:43am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 September 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3860
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About beemoo : I'm a clinically diagnosed insomniac, so, while I wait ever-so patiently for sleep to take me, I read FML's in bed.

beemoo's page activity

Visits<b>pineapplejuicy</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 4:24am<b>cowboyspartan17</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 1:43pm<b>A07</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:52pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 12:06am

Fucked!<b>A07</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 3:52am

beemoo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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beemoo's favorite FMLs

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

by mew / 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm / Canada / Kids

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 1:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

by mrs.nerd / 10/23/2011 at 8:38am / United States / Love

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

by btchzloveit / 09/29/2011 at 8:27am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

by funnymanjoe / 09/14/2011 at 7:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

by fashionista1787 / 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

by Mack / 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

by Stan / 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

by AlwaysGottaFML / 08/20/2011 at 3:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML

by Username / 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm / United States / Health

Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be 'funny as hell' to watch me freak out. FML

by livgasms / 08/18/2011 at 12:02am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous