beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 5384
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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beef_weezle's page activity

Visits<b>pattip111</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:01pm<b>kpoakes</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:11pm<b>vintral88</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 11:41pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:38pm<b>ibeliebvatic</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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Inception

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Santa Claus

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML

by hot coffee / 07/12/2012 at 11:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

by a4rk / 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm / Malaysia (Sarawak) / Work

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

by mommabuser / 07/01/2012 at 11:59am / Animals

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

by pissed off / 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm / Animals

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

by pissed off / 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm / Animals

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

by ihatewalmart / 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm / United States / Kids

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

by Uncomfy / 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

by tubby / 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm / Sweden (Blekinge Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.