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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

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  • Number of visits : 1970
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (4510)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (4510)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML

#13498140
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (2520)

On 10/18/2010 at 11:52am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

#13495901
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26923) - you deserved it (3540)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:56am - misc - by fmmlll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML

#13495113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15570) - you deserved it (33962)

On 10/18/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML

#13442397
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36701) - you deserved it (3181)

On 10/14/2010 at 3:15am - misc - by A. - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45411) - you deserved it (8171)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28970) - you deserved it (9042)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17416) - you deserved it (41304)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

#13034308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (2439)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38180) - you deserved it (12391)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (28416)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

#12969357
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27252) - you deserved it (5269)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

#12858268
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29089) - you deserved it (3945)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

#12832697
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37877) - you deserved it (6723)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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