About beckster_05 : Hello :) I'm Becky. I don't get on here much, but I try, so send me a message or something if you want to talk!
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beckster_05's favorite FMLs
by caitlinz5 / 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML
by kirsty / 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
by Kait / 04/05/2012 at 12:13am / United States / Work
Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML
by PicklesMcRaptor / 03/25/2012 at 7:59am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML
by jennag5 / 03/24/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 2:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/14/2012 at 7:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by me / 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…