About beckster_05 : Hello :) I'm Becky. I don't get on here much, but I try, so send me a message or something if you want to talk!
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beckster_05's favorite FMLs
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Love
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
by Rebecca / 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML
by whattdafuuukkkk / 06/05/2012 at 7:56am / United States / Work
by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by BooBabe / 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
by jcdc / 05/20/2012 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Health
by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 12:41am / United States / Transportation
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…