About beckster_05 : Hello :) I'm Becky. I don't get on here much, but I try, so send me a message or something if you want to talk!
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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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beckster_05's favorite FMLs
Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
by afraidofcans / 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML
by Dinger1992 / 10/23/2012 at 9:19am / United States / Money
by Nana / 10/22/2012 at 11:39am / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Mike / 10/16/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by imafunguy / 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Love
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
by nonfreehugs / 10/04/2012 at 1:09am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML
by cmc9540 / 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (New York) / Love
by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
by foreveralone / 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by izziegrl / 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm / Mexico (Mexico) / Money
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Intimacy
by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…