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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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bebz

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bebz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 460
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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bebz's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (26429) - you deserved it (2538)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

#12552368 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (35176) - you deserved it (3114)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I am expected to write an 8 page essay, due tonight. The reason why I don't even have one page yet? My mom decided to take away the only computer I have the essay saved on because I have an 'F' in English. The essay is for English. FML

#8693763 (296)

I agree, your life sucks (19023) - you deserved it (4959)

On 02/27/2010 at 4:28pm - health - by atmac95 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (1804)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721 (605)

I agree, your life sucks (38879) - you deserved it (2427)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard a rumor about myself going around my high school that I am pregnant, I've dropped out of school, and that my belly is showing. I'm not actually pregnant. I've been severely depressed, so I've missed a few days of school and I've been eating too much apparently. FML

#8630946 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (18047) - you deserved it (2623)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by mainey92 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

#8624928 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (14537) - you deserved it (12199)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by pickit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (17154) - you deserved it (4894)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML

#8550673 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (4130) - you deserved it (22116)

On 02/22/2010 at 10:35am - health - by AngelAshley (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm far-sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML

#6006091 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (29723) - you deserved it (3765)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:42pm - animals - by K.H (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my sister in law walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (97741)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (210134)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (8063) - you deserved it (89125)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)