beaverteaser

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Offline (the 10/16/2014 at 10:29pm)

beaverteaser

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 February 1982 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1160
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About beaverteaser : free to good home...

beaverteaser's page activity

Visits<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 11:38pm<b>CheeseyWolf</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 12:13pm<b>raven83</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:19pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 11:09am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 6:29pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 7:54pm<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:23am<b>Xhase</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 7:51pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 5:27am<b>MisSum182</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:40pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:14pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:46pm<b>izbechillin</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:53pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 7:00pm<b>notlovely</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:50am<b>Fierce_Cat_</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:02pm<b>TypoFairy</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:13am

Fucked!<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:27am<b>izbechillin</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:54am<b>TypoFairy</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:14am

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beaverteaser's favorite FMLs

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

by sickmom / 01/21/2014 at 6:07am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML

by monsterinlaw / 01/21/2014 at 1:25am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

by Ginger_Gawd / 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2014 at 4:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped my phone in the wet snow. I read that putting it in rice helps to get the water out. Three pieces of rice are now frozen into the power port, and I can't get the charger in. FML

by merrr / 01/20/2014 at 3:34pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I noticed that the condom in my wallet has been there so long it's left a mark. FML

by arsenalfcboy / 01/20/2014 at 4:31am / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

by I.Want.Food. / 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I bought an automatic air refresher. I put the can and batteries in, and it promptly sprayed a blast of its scent down my throat. Now I can't breathe without tasting it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2014 at 4:08pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML

by fail / 01/19/2014 at 3:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

by coop42 / 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous