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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4161) - you deserved it (10287)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25234) - you deserved it (1558)
On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (5422)
On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33737) - you deserved it (3972) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14602) - you deserved it (32592)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23244) - you deserved it (2415)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11113) - you deserved it (1255)
On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83074) - you deserved it (5140)
On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved
Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML
I agree, your life sucks (35424) - you deserved it (7118)
On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37566) - you deserved it (12721)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my marriage counselor told me I have the communication skills of a Lou Gehrig's patient. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5660) - you deserved it (8565)
On 11/02/2010 at 7:34pm - misc - by djangle (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (3049)
On 10/30/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by miss cranky pants - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25230) - you deserved it (2300)
On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States
Today, my boss reached over and yanked up my shirt right above my breasts while she said, "I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it, but don't reveal that much cleavage, there are dirty old men that work here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10932) - you deserved it (24773)
On 09/15/2010 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that lame performance last night'. He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (5885)
On 09/13/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by GonnaBeLonley2night - United States (Texas)
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