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beastseclipse

Offline (the 04/14/2015 at 5:04am) | Search for a member

beastseclipse

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 484
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About beastseclipse : What bugs me is when someone asks what something is or means on this site, and people say "go use google or the internet". By asking, somebody IS using the internet, its just that by asking a real person they can get more direct answers. And if you dont want to answer, dont, it wont kill anybody.

beastseclipse's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 2:35pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 7:50pm<b>Thr33to16</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 3:52pm<b>Attica</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:53am<b>Samuu212</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 11:56pm

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beastseclipse's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (2774)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (4102)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

#21364495
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31923) - you deserved it (3007)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:13am - love - by shoggoth_wild - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

#21361729
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (5186)

On 02/23/2015 at 12:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33981) - you deserved it (2292)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML

#21350975
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32506) - you deserved it (2100)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33781) - you deserved it (3414)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML

#21348221
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32994) - you deserved it (13358)

On 02/02/2015 at 9:25am - misc - by pinecones (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML

#21337228
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30526) - you deserved it (4552)

On 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm - misc - by bloody_hell (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30244) - you deserved it (5918)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML

Today, I spent a quarter of an hour trying to figure out why my car wouldn't unlock, then why my number plate had changed. FML

#21322036
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19347) - you deserved it (22997)

On 12/22/2014 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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