beastseclipse

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Offline (the 06/03/2016 at 9:02pm)

beastseclipse

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 555
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About beastseclipse : What bugs me is when someone asks what something is or means on this site, and people say "go use google or the internet". By asking, somebody IS using the internet, its just that by asking a real person they can get more direct answers. And if you dont want to answer, dont, it wont kill anybody.

beastseclipse's page activity

Visits<b>wondercat40</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:22pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 2:35pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 7:50pm<b>Thr33to16</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 3:52pm<b>Attica</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:53am<b>Samuu212</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 11:56pm

beastseclipse's FML badges

The Mixer

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beastseclipse's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

by Crappy / 04/11/2015 at 8:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

by anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

by meeeee! / 03/02/2015 at 8:26am / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

by shoggoth_wild / 02/27/2015 at 9:13am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2015 at 12:56pm / United States / Health

Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML

by chloe_zjk / 02/18/2015 at 12:22am / France / Work

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2015 at 11:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

by ZAnon / 02/06/2015 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML

by pinecones / 02/02/2015 at 9:25am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

by Northshore75 / 01/15/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

by Northshore75 / 01/15/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML

by bloody_hell / 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy