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beastio

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beastio

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  • Number of visits : 3053
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beastio's page activity

Visits<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 3:45pm<b>blake116</b> - the 08/08/2009 at 10:40am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 2:30pm

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beastio's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of that smell of marijuana in the house. So I confess and tell her I will never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

#4874504
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12985) - you deserved it (61340)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Dumbweed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45918) - you deserved it (6199)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77691) - you deserved it (3391)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wrote a note for my crush of 2 years, expressing all my feelings for him signed it as "Forever your lover" then I slipped it into his locker. Later that day, he walked back up to me, tossed the note at me and said "You know I recognize your handwriting, right?" FML

#4865641
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38734) - you deserved it (26662)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - love - by fmynote (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

#4865635
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7374) - you deserved it (58357)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41245) - you deserved it (19428)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML

#4859599
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64703) - you deserved it (2350)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm - money - by crookedteeth (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

#4859108
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57209) - you deserved it (8622)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML

#4858444
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (4682)

On 08/27/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got home from work, and saw a note on the counter my roomate left saying "Sorry about the basement." I then went into the basement, and found that it was flooded. My TV, Xbox360, mini-fridge, and couch were all destroyed. Good thing he tried to stop the leak with scotch tape. FML

#4856467
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42855) - you deserved it (2177)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by buzzzzkill (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my parents have been trying to convince me not to go to college this year. I also found out where the $20,000 they just spent on landscaping came from. My college fund. Which is now $0. FML

#4855501
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54712) - you deserved it (2564)

On 08/27/2009 at 5:16am - money - by noeducation (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my sister came over for a visit. I was going to surprise her with the news that I had spontaneously gotten a cat. The first thing she told me when she came in was that she ran over my neighbor's cat. None of my neighbors have cats. FML

#4854965
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49604) - you deserved it (3740)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:13am - animals - by catlady5569 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the bank called saying we were late in the mortgage payments. I was puzzled because three months ago I issued a big cheque to my mum pay off the mortgage. I just discovered that she instead lost it all at the casino. Turns out, she's become a compulsive gambler ever since dad passed away. FML

#4853130
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45474) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:53am - money - by smoothcoffee (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after going to T-Mobile thinking my phone won't receive texts, I found out that my phone is perfectly fine, my friends just don't text me back. FML

#4847720
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42875) - you deserved it (7620)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by nofriends (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

#4837442
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47655) - you deserved it (4095)

On 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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