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beastio

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beastio

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  • Number of visits : 2976
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beastio's page activity

Visits<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 3:45pm<b>blake116</b> - the 08/08/2009 at 10:40am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 2:30pm

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beastio's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (30680)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML

#5001018
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39217) - you deserved it (3723)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

#5000239
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43638) - you deserved it (6501)

On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML

#4999366
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43979) - you deserved it (12940)

On 09/02/2009 at 2:29pm - money - by Lizzzyygurl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47660) - you deserved it (15924)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML

#4996993
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42402) - you deserved it (5962)

On 09/02/2009 at 11:12am - work - by hoboman (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

#4995727
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39762) - you deserved it (12248)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

#4995103
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14292) - you deserved it (41972)

On 09/02/2009 at 7:19am - intimacy - by keepsmiling - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML

#4994498
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13765) - you deserved it (64139)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

#4985034
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6470) - you deserved it (24274)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:59pm - intimacy - by whorica139 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9103) - you deserved it (36542)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

#4978107
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42857) - you deserved it (8116)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40463) - you deserved it (2776)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17408) - you deserved it (347852)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

#4975904
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52404) - you deserved it (3973)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)



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