beastio

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beastio

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3493
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beastio's page activity

Visits<b>ThatOneChick856</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 7:34pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 3:45pm<b>blake116</b> - the 08/08/2009 at 10:40am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 2:30pm

beastio's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

beastio's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

by leahbeuhh / 09/05/2009 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, my 26th birthday party got busted by my parents due to them coming home early because of a flight cancellation. Everyone had to leave, but not before my mother made me go to my room. FML

by joeshmoe / 09/05/2009 at 3:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Transportation

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

by LaurahLunatic / 09/05/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, my dad bought me a new laptop for my birthday. That's because he wants to use my old laptop for work, which is more expensive, has better specs, runs faster, and has a wider screen than my new computer. I just got a downgraded laptop as my birthday present. FML

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

by HotCurry / 09/05/2009 at 12:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were messing around and I always jokingly say "You're adopted, nobody loves you" to everybody. His reply, "That's pretty fucked up, I am adopted." He really was. FML

by tryfailtryget11 / 09/05/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

by flexibleflatulance / 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked. Then said "You know he can't swim right?" FML

by babydoll13211 / 09/04/2009 at 5:36pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML

by bubblezzz123 / 09/04/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML

by akward / 09/04/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

by no_hullabalo / 09/04/2009 at 10:50am / Taiwan (T'ai-wan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my girlfriend's parent to ask for her hand in marriage. They were shocked and told me that they would have to refuse. Apparently my girlfriend had told them last week that she had met someone new at work and didn't know how to break it off with me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2009 at 3:39am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

by NotYourLady / 09/04/2009 at 2:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation