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beastio

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beastio
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2814
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beastio's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

#5057922
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9229) - you deserved it (61757)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:39am - love - by leahbeuhh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my 26th birthday party got busted by my parents due to them coming home early because of a flight cancellation. Everyone had to leave, but not before my mother made me go to my room. FML

#5055356
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20266) - you deserved it (41638)

On 09/05/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by joeshmoe (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

#5054885
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20554) - you deserved it (4908)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by LaurahLunatic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad bought me a new laptop for my birthday. That's because he wants to use my old laptop for work, which is more expensive, has better specs, runs faster, and has a wider screen than my new computer. I just got a downgraded laptop as my birthday present. FML

#5054381
144 comments

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

#5053287
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42057) - you deserved it (2912)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by HotCurry (man) - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were messing around and I always jokingly say "You're adopted, nobody loves you" to everybody. His reply, "That's pretty fucked up, I am adopted." He really was. FML

#5052603
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7033) - you deserved it (53416)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:23am - love - by tryfailtryget11 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after going to the bathroom, I saw what I thought was a hidden camera in the air vent. Freaking out, I called the cops as I thought someone was spying on me. When they got to my house they burst out laughing - it was a mini air freshener. FML

#5052532
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6944) - you deserved it (40133)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:18am - money - by 1800_idontcare (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

#5050946
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13619) - you deserved it (42489)

On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked. Then said "You know he can't swim right?" FML

#5044657
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6799) - you deserved it (57228)

On 09/04/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by babydoll13211 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML

#5041996
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34145) - you deserved it (3902)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by bubblezzz123 - United States (New York)

Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML

#5041088
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11087) - you deserved it (44908)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by akward (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37988) - you deserved it (2800)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I called my girlfriend's parent to ask for her hand in marriage. They were shocked and told me that they would have to refuse. Apparently my girlfriend had told them last week that she had met someone new at work and didn't know how to break it off with me. FML

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

#5035637
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44608) - you deserved it (2838)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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