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beastio

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beastio

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  • Number of visits : 3168
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beastio's page activity

Visits<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 3:45pm<b>blake116</b> - the 08/08/2009 at 10:40am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 2:30pm

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beastio's favorite FMLs

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

#5130583
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53774) - you deserved it (3616)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

#5128135
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41949) - you deserved it (7381)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

#5126922
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5866) - you deserved it (77205)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

#5126886
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50197) - you deserved it (3712)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:29pm - health - by UhOhhhh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

#5124739
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11050) - you deserved it (42986)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

#5124019
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (71996)

On 09/08/2009 at 8:29am - love - by nitwit (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I met a nice girl and decided to ask her out. Later on she showed me a picture of her with her family, she was wearing red and everyone else black. I said jokingly "you look like the adopted child" only to find out that her had parents died and she was indeed adopted. FML

#5122351
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14939) - you deserved it (36169)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:11am - love - by WanstinChurchHill (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stepped on the MacBook Air I purchased 4 days ago. The screen snapped in two, and I didn't buy insurance because I promised myself I would be "extra careful." $3500 well spent. FML

#5121901
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11519) - you deserved it (63853)

On 09/08/2009 at 2:31am - money - by AyDiosMio42 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML

#5113950
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20492) - you deserved it (42415)

On 09/07/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by c-mack (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12087) - you deserved it (71663)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

#5102610
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9098) - you deserved it (30042)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

#5102101
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53359) - you deserved it (8007)

On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

#5098537
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66380) - you deserved it (6040)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)

Today, at my girlfriend's place I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was "uggg I have to clean all this up". FML

#5097927
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40324) - you deserved it (4873)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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