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beastballa24

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beastballa24

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beastballa24's favorite FMLs

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (9190)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML

#19812468
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19937) - you deserved it (4409)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

#19708636
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19256) - you deserved it (1998)

On 05/31/2012 at 6:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29281) - you deserved it (4699)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

#19535515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7309) - you deserved it (24953)

On 04/27/2012 at 12:29am - health - by Weak Disposition (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you deserved it (2660)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33709) - you deserved it (3093)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23348) - you deserved it (3115)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (1976)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17200) - you deserved it (29527)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML

#18569912
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26222) - you deserved it (3137)

On 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tacoboy27 - United States (California)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24363) - you deserved it (2348)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML

#17557352
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34879) - you deserved it (4416)

On 08/23/2011 at 11:55am - kids - by Username - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after a year of suspicion, I finally found out my sister is in a cult. My family's response? "It will be good for her." FML

#17247420
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (2293)

On 07/24/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by allycat (woman) - United States (Washington)



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