Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

beaglegal

Online | Search for a member

beaglegal

81Fucked!

beaglegalbeaglegal
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 November 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4486
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About beaglegal : Youtube, Archer, Supernatural and Sherlock. And dogs. And video games. And Reddit. That's about it.
Benedict Cumberbatch is one of my favorite people alive.
I have 3 beagles named Prince, Princess and Daisy. It's pretty obvious that I love dogs :)

beaglegal's page activity

Visits<b>3051628</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:53am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 7:43am<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 5:28pm<b>kovalsky</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Riley052402</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:30am<b>guskta</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:19am<b>TheMAGICMANIAC</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:26pm<b>skyraiderj5</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 4:16pm<b>sosogross</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:45am<b>zoyii</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:54pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:16pm<b>lukian</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 9:04pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 8:12pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 7:36pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 7:25pm<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:33pm

Fucked!<b>3051628</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:45pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:27am<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:36am<b>pks2014</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:51am<b>bridges13</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:52pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:39pm<b>phaelnb</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:34pm<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:16pm<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 3:28am<b>jbe1091</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:57pm<b>Strajee</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 12:44am<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:32am<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:43am<b>PITSB</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:00am<b>uglytoenails</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 12:01am<b>jimmysixx</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 12:27am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:53pm

beaglegal's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of beaglegal's badges

beaglegal's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28505) - you deserved it (41581)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
190 comments

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

#20832639
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (35460)

On 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm - health - by JustSayNo - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62703) - you deserved it (5773)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

#20820474
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48921) - you deserved it (2976)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

#20792695
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55040) - you deserved it (4594)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

#20788139
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70344) - you deserved it (4132)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105796) - you deserved it (12484)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49473) - you deserved it (3536)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69607) - you deserved it (4637)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73307) - you deserved it (4321)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42183) - you deserved it (26457)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65668) - you deserved it (4450)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59936) - you deserved it (10184)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: