Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

beaglegal

Online | Search for a member

beaglegal

81Fucked!

beaglegalbeaglegal
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 November 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4495
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About beaglegal : Youtube, Archer, Supernatural and Sherlock. And dogs. And video games. And Reddit. That's about it.
Benedict Cumberbatch is one of my favorite people alive.
I have 3 beagles named Prince, Princess and Daisy. It's pretty obvious that I love dogs :)

beaglegal's page activity

Visits<b>3051628</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:53am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 7:43am<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 5:28pm<b>kovalsky</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Riley052402</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:30am<b>guskta</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:19am<b>TheMAGICMANIAC</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:26pm<b>skyraiderj5</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 4:16pm<b>sosogross</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:45am<b>zoyii</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:54pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:16pm<b>lukian</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 9:04pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 8:12pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 7:36pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 7:25pm<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:33pm

Fucked!<b>3051628</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:45pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:27am<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:36am<b>pks2014</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:51am<b>bridges13</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:52pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:39pm<b>phaelnb</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:34pm<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:16pm<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 3:28am<b>jbe1091</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:57pm<b>Strajee</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 12:44am<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:32am<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:43am<b>PITSB</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:00am<b>uglytoenails</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 12:01am<b>jimmysixx</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 12:27am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:53pm

beaglegal's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of beaglegal's badges

beaglegal's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (38277)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51848) - you deserved it (7842)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65784) - you deserved it (9577)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55452) - you deserved it (5016)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44037) - you deserved it (6012)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56976) - you deserved it (7152)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (4281)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56896) - you deserved it (8393)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54863) - you deserved it (6744)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47653) - you deserved it (14954)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44563) - you deserved it (2642)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

#20984907
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47269) - you deserved it (3890)

On 12/08/2013 at 11:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57351) - you deserved it (4291)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: