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beachbum561fla

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 11:40pm) | Search for a member

beachbum561fla

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 185
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About beachbum561fla : Bodyboarder. Photographer. Electrician. South Florida.

I'll talk to anyone about anything!

Instagram/Twitter/KIK: @beachbum561fla
WhatsApp or Text: 561-454-8085

beachbum561fla's page activity

Visits<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:37am<b>marlie_x</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:34am<b>Michellelaura67</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 11:25pm<b>limitedition</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 9:41pm<b>beansXcornbread</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:46pm<b>whowantstoknow12</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 10:21pm<b>SleeplessBeauty</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:57am<b>cuppycakeslove</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 2:06am<b>DatTampon</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 10:59am<b>MsFML_</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 2:39am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 12:48am

beachbum561fla's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of beachbum561fla's badges

beachbum561fla's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56115) - you deserved it (7059)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37801) - you deserved it (3263)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51956) - you deserved it (6552)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47014) - you deserved it (9249)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43810) - you deserved it (6737)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51451) - you deserved it (5824)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

#21037094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36756) - you deserved it (3498)

On 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Hairy_Potter (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31749) - you deserved it (39388)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44185) - you deserved it (5844)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49117) - you deserved it (9120)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38573) - you deserved it (6864)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31553) - you deserved it (10625)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50373) - you deserved it (4831)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized how nice it was that, after moving into my ground-floor apartment, I no longer have to worry about being too loud walking on the floor at night. Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbors do not have any qualms about shouting or stomping their feet loudly at night, either. FML

#20865605
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34607) - you deserved it (3146)

On 09/03/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43078) - you deserved it (7342)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States



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