beachbum561fla

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Offline (the 04/24/2016 at 1:11am)

beachbum561fla

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 September 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 486
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About beachbum561fla : Bodyboarder. Photographer. Electrician. South Florida.

I'll talk to anyone about anything!

Instagram & Twitter @beachbum561fla
Text: 561-961-8080

beachbum561fla's page activity

Visits<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 6:05am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:37am<b>marlie_x</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:34am<b>Michellelaura67</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 11:25pm<b>limitedition</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 9:41pm<b>beansXcornbread</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:46pm<b>whowantstoknow12</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 10:21pm<b>SleeplessBeauty</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:57am<b>cuppycakeslove</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 2:06am<b>DatTampon</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 10:59am<b>MsFML_</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 2:39am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 12:48am

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beachbum561fla's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

by homeless / 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

by lovely / 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:28am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

by Hairy_Potter / 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Health

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

by kel / 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

by OutOfMyMind / 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I realized how nice it was that, after moving into my ground-floor apartment, I no longer have to worry about being too loud walking on the floor at night. Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbors do not have any qualms about shouting or stomping their feet loudly at night, either. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 1:06am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous