Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

be_happy1

Search for a member

be_happy1
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 32443
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

be_happy1's last visitors

shivamtrivedidknightPsycoJestercrazy_chickxoxo

be_happy1's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

be_happy1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML

#3171611
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41055) - you deserved it (4872)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by MoxyR12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21016) - you deserved it (53212)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

#3141332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51269) - you deserved it (3841)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

#3028643
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46772) - you deserved it (9896)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130405) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56088) - you deserved it (10648)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64671) - you deserved it (14314)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML

#2787428
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7528) - you deserved it (40891)

On 06/10/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by parkinglotslayer (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113693) - you deserved it (71757)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall, when a homeless man came in mumbling to himself. Out of the 7 available urinals, he posted up at the one right beside me. Apparently he didn't get the memo that urinals aren't used to shit in. He talked to me the entire time. About his love life. FML

#2740544
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59406) - you deserved it (3508)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:13pm - misc - by blah (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100437) - you deserved it (4280)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76476) - you deserved it (4912)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML

#2734791
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12404) - you deserved it (48835)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47980) - you deserved it (60051)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: